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DOES MARRYING LATE MESS WITH THE MIND.

What age does a woman get to before she really gets worried about her unmarried status?

At what age does this worry become so pronounced that it begins to mess with her mind? At what age does the messing with her mind become so bad that she actually breaks down and loses her mind?

Is that even possible?
Can a woman become mentally deranged simply because she has reached a certain age and is unmarried?

Recall this post about a 38 year old unmarried woman who was having a series of headaches related to her unmarried status


THE PATIENT.
The stench coming from her was so nauseating that I became uncomfortable, she was brought in by her brother.

She had lost her mind.

According her brother, she had worried relentlessly about being unmarried.
She was 45.
She now talked and behaved irrationally.
She refused to have her bath.
She would sit at one spot for days on end.

I tried talking to her - she would talk, then suddenly become quiet as if her mind had left the room, then smile awkwardly.

Who…

THE MYTH ABOUT DOCTORS' HANDWRITING.

I never thought an actual patient could ask me this - and ask me seriously. The patient was a retired accountant in his sixties and he asked me, with all seriousness if we are taught in medical school how to write horribly.

I told him he was wrong, that we actually have nice handwriting though various reasons could account for our writing being sloppy occasionally, some reasons being:

1. large number of patients
2. Emergencies
3. Might not want patient to see what you are writing (eg his bill).

But being a scientific kind of guy, I set out to disprove his assertion; I checked the different case notes around me and what I saw shocked me; I will attempt to reproduce what I saw using my own artistic impression here:

HANDWRITING 1


HANDWRITING 2

HANDWRITING 3


HANDWRITING 4


By the way, one of the above is mine:)

Quiz: Can you decipher what is written? Kindly score the handwritings.





IT'S HERE! FREE MEDICAL CONSULTATION.

Ever wonder why a lot of Doctors are poor?

Yeah, you got it right - free consultations.

Sadly, yours truly is a major offender.

If I was given a penny for every free consultation I have given, I'd probably be on a remote Island somewhere, sipping fruit juice under a coconut tree, being served by various butlers in black and white tuxedos.


The temptation to give free consultations comes in various forms especially via telephone and text messages; sometimes, you are even required to reply using your own credit.
Examples of questions I have been asked on the phone include:

"My son has what looks like a rash, what can I give him?"

"I have a swelling here, what do I use?"

Note, in these instances, I have no means of seeing the offending rash or swelling, nor am I given more information about it as regards the site, size or shape of the rash, but somehow, I have to provide a cure over the distance.

You could also be out in public and someone introduces you as a do…

HUMOR: HOW NOLLYWOOD MURDERS MEDICAL SCENES

The Nigerian movie industry is one of the fastest growing in the world today, they are said to be the third largest after Hollywood and Bollywood.

I have watched some Nigerian films and I have noted some hilarious things when they act hospital scenes:

IT IS ONLY IN NOLLYWOOD THAT:
1.The doctor uses his stethoscope to check for the heartbeat on a patient's wrist.

2. Blood used for transfusion looks like Ribena, or a local drink called Zobo.

3. Primary school science charts are hung on the wall of a doctor's consulting room.

4. Bandages are tied like a turban around the head of a patient with a head injury.

5. The patient is in a coma, and is just placed on the bed, no oxygen, nothing. And he recovers.

6. The intensive care unit contains a bed and no machines.

7. The only hospital instruments are the doctor's stethoscope and the tray the nurse carries.

8. The drip is plastered to the patient's arm without a cannula.

9. The nurses always run to the doctor's office with…

MEDICAL FICTION.

For those who haven't seen it, I've started a fiction blog here.

Kindly visit it and tell me what you feel.

NO ONE TOLD ME I WOULD BE DOING THESE THINGS AS A DOCTOR...

I once thought that being a doctor was all about prescribing drugs for sick people- how wrong I was.When I started practicing, I had to learn the other functions of a doctor not taught in medical school, these include:-

1. MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR. I've been asked one too many times to play a mediatory role between a husband and a wife: e.g this story where the husband was not faithful; and this story where the wife doubted the husband's fertility.

2. TELEPHONE OPERATOR. We learn the art of making and receiving phone calls at the oddest of hours , and how to politely turn that patient down who calls you for a drug to treat that swelling he has that you can't see.

3. CAREER COUNSELLOR. Everyone wants to know what it is like to be a doctor, and should they continue on that path or take another route?

4. PUBLIC SPEAKER. The inevitable world of presentations: From presenting patient cases to your superiors, to presenting mortality figures to the whole hospital, to talking about Dia…

HOW COME DOCTORS KNOW EVERYTHING?

Have you ever wondered how a doctor seems to have a prescription for everything?

You have a headache- Bam! Take this!

You have a fever- Bam! Take two tablets of this.

Your urine looks funny- Bam! This should clear you up.

Amazing right? So what is the secret to this superhuman ability?

1. COMMON THINGS OCCUR COMMONLY.You might think your case is unique, but a doctor who has practiced for a short time has probably seen hundreds of such cases; just like driving a car, treating that case has become a part of the doctor, he can treat it while asleep.

2. THE POWER OF DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS.Several illnesses present the same way, and it could be one of a group of possibilities. Whichever the doctor thinks it is, he may follow that line of management.

3. WELL, YOU NEED TO DO SOME TESTS.This is a sure get out clause, giving the doctor time to consult his notes; who wouldn't agree to some tests to help get at the root of a problem?

4. HEY FRED, COME AND TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.The power of a seco…

HUMOR - MUSINGS OF A SCEPTICAL THIRD WORLD DOCTOR.

-So you mean to tell me you've never done an operation using a torch light before?

- So you're telling me you've never sutured a wound without anaesthesia before?

- So you mean to tell me you can fly a sick patient in a helicopter from one hospital to another?

- So you're saying your government pays for your hospital stay?

- So you're telling me your ambulance drivers don't just put on their sirens because they have a lunch date and there's actually a patient inside?

-So you mean to tell me each patient has an ECG monitor and ultrasound scan to themselves?

- So you mean to say you don't see more than 10 patients a day?

-So you're trying to tell me your politicians get treated in your local hospitals?


HMMMMM, LET ME SEE...

So......

You're telling me one can actually eat off your clean hospital floors?

- So you're saying you can transport someone's beating heart in a box?

- So you mean to tell me your patients don't have to share o…

NEW POETRY BLOG.

No, I'm not ending this blog. I'm just moving all my poems here for easy accessibility. So, this blog will be just for my stories and articles. Thank you all so much.


IMAGE COURTESY.

JUST BEFORE YOU TAKE THAT DRUG.

Is it possible to look like this just by swallowing a drug?


The answer of course , is YES.

Unforunately, there are some things one doesn't know about one's health until one has a life changing experience . An experience one doesn't forget. An example is a drug reaction.

Recently managed a young girl whose only crime was to take a popular sulphur containing antimalarial tablet ( those that require you to take 3 tablets at once). She ended up looking like the above.

Could this condition be fatal?
The answer is YES, see this sad story.

Question : Name the above condition/ possible conditions and or common drugs that give such reactions.




Image courtesy.

MEN - WHY YOU MAY NOT WANT TO MARRY A FEMALE DOCTOR

In response to my earlier article: Ladies - should you marry a Doctor?.

Are you considering proposing to that female doctor you can't get out of your head? Well, here are some reasons you may or may not want to:

WHY YOU MAY HESITATE BEFORE MARRYING A FEMALE DOCTOR.



1. She is older and wiser ( which might not always be a bad thing).

2. She is independent.

3. She will more than likely talk back at you.

4. Her career may mean more to her than your needs.

5. You will sleep alone at night a lot and she'd probably not be back before you leave for work in the morning.

6. You would more than likely need a maid.

7. It may be hard to convince her to take extended time off work to raise the family or even to put her career on hold.

8. She has no time for extended dating, you're either ready to marry or out the door.

9. I will stop here because I have been warned by the female doctors mafia to put more advantages than disadvantages.

So on to the pros.




WHY YOU SHOULD MARRY A FEMALE DOC…

LADIES - SHOULD YOU MARRY A DOCTOR?

Ladies, are you considering that young handsome doctor that took you out last week? Well, here are some reasons you may or may not want to respond to his advances.

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY A DOCTOR.1. His Medical friends will probably bore you.

2. He will probably bore you.

3. You will spend many nights alone.

4. Nights you do spend together, he may be fast asleep before you say Jack Robinson.

5. You just can't go on holidays when you feel like or spend weekends together like other couples.

6. You will probably attend a lot of couple events alone, or he may be with you a short while and give an excuse.

7. His beeper or cell phone is not your friend.

8. He will have a lot of trying times especially when preparing for never ending exams.

9. You're never really sure what he's doing when he goes for night calls.

10. Many doctors these days are broke.


Okay, just before you run away at the altar, here are some reasons you may want to reconsider.




REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD …

WHITE COATS.

This has got to be my most ridiculous post ever, a poor attempt to be a medical fashionista ( whatever that means) - carry on at your own peril:

I have noticed that different doctors have different ways of wearing their white coats:

1. BUTTON DOWNI guess this is the traditional way of wearing it.


2. OPEN FRONT JACKET .This is a more relaxed way of wearing it, you could be wearing a designer shirt or blouse underneath that must be appreciated at all cost.


3. BUTTONING FIRST OR SECOND BUTTONS ONLYThis is bringing one's personal style to it.


4. BUTTONING FIRST AND SECOND BUTTONS ONLY.Similar to above.


5. WAIST LENGTH COAT.Well, It either gets longer or shorter.


6.KNEE LENGTH COAT.No problem so far you don't trip


7. FOLDED SLEEVES.Well, you wouldn't want to take germs home, would you?


8. SHORT SLEEVESAgain, similar to above.


9. WEARING NO WHITE COAT AT ALL.I guess this is self explanatory.




So there you have it. Do you have any preferences? Are there any institutional laws guiding t…

ARE DOCTORS PROMISCUOUS ?

ARE DOCTORS PROMISCUOUS?
I had to take some time to ponder this question. Of course, we are talking more about male doctors here; female doctors hardly have time to be promiscuous (though there are few exceptions). Due to the nature of medical school, by the time a female doctor graduates, her biological clock has already started ticking and there is little time for philandeering.

Before I answer if doctors are promiscuous, let me give the reasons why they MAY BE promiscuous.

WHY DOCTORS MAY BE PROMISCUOUS.
1. THE STRESS OF MEDICAL SCHOOL:

Medical School puts a lot of stress on any person, and if this is not properly handled, a ready outlet of frustration could be in promiscuity.

2. THE DURATION OF MEDICAL SCHOOL:
like a bird set free from a cage (see angry birds), once doctors are released from medical school, they suddenly feel all the inhibitions loosening and are ready to explore what they missed.

3. PEOPLE OPEN UP TO DOCTORS:
Doctors are good listeners which may be interpreted as…

DOCTOR STEREOTYPES.

OUT OF EVERY TEN DOCTORS YOU MEET, ONE IS:
DOCTOR FRUSTRATED:These are doctors that are not happy with the conditions in which they work; this may be due to the country, the specialty or the department in which they work, You can constantly hear them complaining about something or the other.

DOCTOR BUSINESS:These doctors are constantly on the phone, and no, they are not discussing a patient's management. They have various business interests outside medicine.

DOCTOR ACADEMIC:These doctors are always reading, either for an exam or for the next ward round; you can usually find them in a tutorial session discussing any new academic topic of interest. Many times, they have no life outside the medical field.

DOCTOR POLITICS:These are doctors that are either activists, interested in politics or holding various posts in medical associations, they nurse an ambition in administration.





DOCTOR LEISURE:These doctors usually have extra curricular activities which they take more serious than Medi…

A PERFECT GUIDE TO CHOOSING YOUR MEDICAL SPECIALTY.

Saw this and couldn't resist sharing it(You may need to zoom in to read it). Source is onsurg.com










Source

WHEN A TEENAGER LOSES THE WILL TO LIVE.

Linda was a seventeen year old girl. Like other girls her age, she liked going out without telling her parents. On one such occasion, she returned home and was scolded by her mother. In a fit of rage, Linda went into her room, opened a bottle of insecticide and swallowed the contents. She was dead a short while later.

Samuel was a 14 year old whose parents had decided to separate; he stayed with relatives under questionable conditions. One day Samuel disappeared. He was found 4 days later, hanging from a rope tied to a fan in a nondescript building. An apparent suicide.

We hear countless stories of teenagers who decide to take their lives for reasons that may not be clear or logical to us. In their own thinking, there is no point in continuing to live. It could be due to repeated failure in an exam, excessive bullying at school or displeasure over parents separation. Other reasons may be rejection from a loved one or substance abuse; the reasons are numerous and complicated.

SIGNS …

MALE URINARY PROBLEM.

"HELP! I CAN'T URINATE."Imagine - it is time for your evening meal - a plate of your favourite native delicacy, crowned with a bottle of your favourite drink, chilled to perfection.

" Aah!, life is good," you down the glistening liquid and settle down for a nap (afterall you've worked really hard).





Midway into your slumber, you have that expected urge to relieve yourself; lazily, you hobble to the bathroom, unzip in preparation to urinate
and nothing comes out. You try again, still nothing.

Panic!
Imagine the shock a grown man would feel, when he discovers he wants to urinate, has the energy to urinate, has all the resources to urinate, but urine just won't come out.




The above could be a symptom of an enlargement of the Prostate gland or worse still, an initial presentation of a Cancer of the Prostate gland.

WHAT IS THIS PROSTATE GLAND?Let's think of a road with freely flowing traffic. Imagine two trees on both sides of the road; imagine both trees …

EVER TASTED YOUR URINE?

Seriously, have you ever tasted your urine?

Well, my patient did - and - he enjoyed it.

Or more precisely, it tasted sweet.



Well, he had enough supply of urine anyway as he Urinated excessively.

That would be Clue 1.
Of serious concern to him was the fact that he could no longer satisfy his wife.





That would be Clue 2.
He did a test before coming to see me that morning which clinched the diagnosis that explains all the above.

That would be Clue 3.
Question : What was the Diagnosis?





Image 1, 2, 3

HUMOR - COUNTDOWN TO BRAZIL 2014 - LETTER TO MY PATIENTS.

Dear Patients ,

How are you?

You know I care so much about you , that is why I am taking out time to write you this note.

As we all know, the World Cup is around the corner - I feel it is necessary we are all prepared for some changes that will occur during the events, I have thought long and hard before coming to the following conclusions:

1.COMPLAINTSMake your complaints brief and to the point. I am really not interested in your family and social history.


2. LENGTH OF SICKNESS .If you have been sick for over 5 days and are just coming for the first time, another 2 hour wait for the TV highlights to end will not kill you.


3. PATIENTS ON THE WARD.You are advised to keep arms that have IV lines ABSOLUTELY still during the period of any match I am watching, as any tissued lines will not be reset.


4. PREGNANT WOMEN.I have a soft spot for you.

If you know your Expected Date of Delivery falls on a day my country has an important match, kindly come to me now for some quick tips on self d…

SIGNS OF MENTAL ILLNESS.

"DEAR PARENTS FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU."I knew there was something wrong, the moment I saw her.

The way she gazed at me made me very uncomfortable, I shifted in my seat.

But she wasn't looking at me - she was looking through me. She never blinked all the time I looked at her, the tears streamed down her eyes from the pressure of keeping her eyes open without blinking. Her neck remained at an awkward angle as she continued to look at / through me.

She was in her mid 20's and she had lost her mind.

It had started gradually, she forgot little things - she forgot where she kept things in the office and at home, she forgot how to operate her Laptop.

She had told her mother about this and was subsequently taken to the hospital. After some tests were done, they saw nothing wrong with her .

Now, she was no longer talking, all she could do was continue to stare and pull at her hair.

I enquired about the usual predisposing factors for a mental breakdown for a girl …

MY OKADA STORY - A DOCTOR'S POINT OF VIEW.

Guest Post by Dr. Busuyi.

EDITORS NOTE: Due to a certain state government's recent "ban" on commercial motorcycles popularly call "okada" I felt I should once again bring up this post for you to air your views.



"I don't want to die!"

"I don't want to die, please help me!" "Please save my life!" He pleaded passionately.

He was brought by good Samaritans in the early hours of a calm day.

Looking at him he looked moribund. His life seeping away.


He was a young man in his early 20s; unkempt and in a lot of pain; dirty, with a foul stench emanating from his body.
Oh that smell!

He was also penniless.

He was in a pool of his own blood with multiple deep lacerations on the chest and the abdomen.

There was nothing left to the imagination,he was a living study in human anatomy - his stomach and intestines
were out of his body,
clearly exposed for all to see.

He was a local commercial motorcyclist who, as is common to many of them, was riding at break-nec…

SAFETY IN THE WORK PLACE 2

Read Article 1 here.
HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE. (Stories that touch the Heart.)That day Dr B woke up, nothing could have prepared him for the series of events that would lead to his untimely death.

Dr B was a privileged child of his parents who are both Doctors, they had ensured he had a world class medical education.

Dr B would probably still be alive if he had not met the patient that day. But he did.

Just when all seemed to be going well - it happened - a physician's nightmare - Dr B pricked himself with the needle he was using on the patient.

The patient was HIV Positive.

Dr B panicked.

He informed his parents(who are Doctors).

His parents panicked.

Dr B was eventually given some Anti-Retroviral drugs, possibly to prevent any effect or progress of the HIV virus.

Dr B reacted to the Anti-Retroviral drugs and was rushed to the hospital.

Dr B died a few days later from complications of the reaction to the drugs.

Image courtesy

ADVICE FOR MEDICAL SCHOOL.

Thinking of starting that career in medicine?  Here are a few tips that may help guide you:1. KNOW WHY YOU ARE THERE.Do you love being a doctor and caring for the sick? Or were you just the best Science student who naturally drifted towards medicine? Or was it your parent's decision? This is fundamental in determining your attitude to the course.2. SIX YEARS IS NOT A LONG TIME.Take it from me, six years goes by in the twinkling (or two ) of an eye.3. IT IS NOT HOW FAR, BUT HOW WELL.You don't have to be perfect and know everything, but what you do know, know it well.4. DON'T PROCRASTINATE.Don't wait till tests and exams are coming up before you prepare for them. Read in convenient little bits after each day's lecture rather than a fire brigade approach when exams are near.5. DON'T DEPRIVE YOURSELF OF SLEEP.Except absolutely necessary. Even when necessary, sleep. Your brain will reward you with excellent recall, but you should have been following tip 4.6. USE M…

SAFETY IN THE WORK PLACE1.

HOW NOT TO ENCOURAGE A COLLEAGUE
The patient was slowly slipping away. . .

I had battled relentlessly to save his life; I was obviously losing the battle. I couldn't even secure an IV line for him; his veins, though visible had collapsed. Time was ticking away, I was helpless.

The patient was HIV positive and in a very bad state; I was conscious of the risks to myself continuosly trying to secure an IV line in him.

A doctor, seeing my helpless situation, came to my side and said. "Do be careful, hope you heard about the Doctor who died after being pricked with a needle used on an HIV positive patient?"

Now that's what I call encouragement.

Image courtesy

ANOTHER MYSTERY FOR YOU.

WHO WAS HE?

Mrs J was found dead in her room, the door locked on the outside. The key was found placed on a table after a frantic search had been made for it.

There was only one suspect who had been noticed leaving the room by Mrs J's teen daughter. The suspect (male) had stayed overnight with Mrs J.

After examining Mrs J's lifeless body, I became interested in the Story which had the following peculiarities:

1.The Door was locked on the outside and the key placed on a table.

2.There was a mystery man at large who Mrs J's daughter could recognise .

3. Mrs J's husband was away.

4. The death occurred in Mrs J's husband's house.

5. There was no immediate evidence of a traumatic death.

MY QUESTIONS.
1. Who was the mystery man, and what was their relationship?

2. If he had to kill her, why did he do it in her husband's house?

3. Why was the key placed where it could be found?

4. Did the daughter know more than she claimed?

5. Could the murder have been premed…

FIND A FAMILY DOCTOR -7 HABITS TO WATCH OUT FOR .

Ever walked into a Hospital ... then walked right out when you see the Doctor on duty?


Yes, I know the feeling - Even if he was the last Doctor on Earth, you'd rather die than have him treat you.

Finding a good Doctor for yourself or your family, may be a daunting task, here are some habits you should look out for (if you had the choice) when choosing your doctor.


1. A GOOD LISTENER.A Doctor must be a good listener, gently guiding the conversation to get all the important facts - rather than cutting you short at every whim or telling you to hurry up and get to the point.


2. CALM.A Doctor must never lose his cool, lives are dependent on his ability to remain calm through tense situations.


3. COURTEOUS.A courteous Doctor respects you and would not deliberately do anything that would not be in his patient's best interest.


4. REMEMBERS YOUR NAME. If after five visits, your doctor still has to look at his notes before addressing you, then he probably forgets about you after each visi…

WHAT BROUGHT YOU HERE?

Out of curiosity I checked the top keywords with which my blog posts were found and thought it will be good to put a summary here and useful links.

Note : Search items not edited for grammatical accuracy.

1. Future of medicine:This post about my vision (used loosely here) of how medicine will be in the year 3012.

2. Awkward doctor stories:Must be this post about awkward and embarassing moments of being a doctor.

3. Breaking bad true story basedMust be this story of my peculiar way of breaking bad news to patient relatives.

4. Sickle cell diaries:This poem about the realities of having sickle cell from a sufferer's point of view.

5. Cartoon doctor and patient:Awkward moments continued, but this time from the patient's point of view.

6. Cute Black Babies:Must be this hilarious post about a lady who wasn't sure who the father of her baby was

7. keep out of the reach of children: Sad story about a teenager who committed suicide.

8. How to know before study medicine: This post ab…