Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from February, 2012

TOP 10 LIES DOCTORS TELL.

1. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. He doesn't know how you feel, he has READ about how you should feel and knows patients that feel the same way.


2. I'M SORRY. Not exactly, only sorry I'm the one that has to break the news. to you.


3. YOU'LL BE BETTER IN A WEEK. Absolutely no guarantee . Just feels good saying that.


4. JUST WANT TO DO A FEW TESTS. You would probably spend a whole month doing the tests.


5. I AM HERE FOR YOU.No, I am really only here for you till I close at four.


6. IT WONT HURT.Better brace yourself for some serious pain.


7. ITS A MINOR THING.No its not, but if I told you that, you may cry all over me.


8. I'VE HANDLED IT BEFORE .Yes, and the first time was yesterday.


9. IT'S NOTHING, JUST WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO HAVE A LOOK. Its probably what we both fear it is, but I don't have the heart to tell you right now.


10. BE PATIENT, THE DRUG WILL WORK.Since it hasn't worked yet, it is unlikely to work but i can't think of anything else.

Any more &quo…

TOP 10 LIES PATIENTS TELL.

1. SEXUAL HISTORY"I saw my menses last month, my husband is not even in the country."


2. ALCOHOL HISTORY"I take only a little drink on occasions."


3. DRUG HISTORY"I don't miss out on my medications, i take them as prescribed."

4. SMOKING HISTORY"I stopped smoking twenty years ago."


5. FAMILY HISTORY"Nobody is sick in my family."


6. APPOINTMENTS"I came to the hospital, but I couldn't see the doctor."


7. NUTRITION HISTORY" I don't eat anything that contains sugar."

8. EXAGGERATED SYMPTOMS"I haven't used the toilet at all in one week."


9. IMAGINARY DOCTOR" My personal physician comes to check on me."


10. STILL SICK" I can't return to work , i'm still feeling sick."


Addenda: Can we get this list to 20?


image courtesy

YEAR 3052 -THE FUTURE .

THE FUTURE OF HEALTH CARE AND MEDICINE.
1. We wouldn't need doctors.



2. If we still need doctors there won't be much for them to do.



3. Doctors will be among the least paid workers.



4. Medicine will be a hobby and no longer a occupation.



5. Robot doctors will be installed in each home.



6. Medical school will be done online.



7. One drug will cure most diseases.



8. The stethoscope will finally be rested.


9. HIV/AIDS, cancers will be minor complaints.



10. The white coat will look very ridiculous.



11. There will be a phone app called "self diagnose, self treat".



12. Pharmacists too won't be needed, there will be vending machines that scan, diagnose and dispense drugs.



13. There will be sick scanners in offices to prevent un-necessary sick off days.



14. Humans will still be mortal.
What are your visions on the future of Medicine?

image courtesy

How Doctors And Patients Speak Different Languages

CALL DUTY Doctor: Time at work to stretch out a bit and work at a more leisurely pace.
Patient: Time when doctor can and must be bothered by all minor complaints ranging from a scratch to a bruise.


YOUR COMPLAINT Doctor: A simple statement saying why you are in the hospital.
Patient: Something akin to a police report beginning with," it all started while i was sleeping...."


FEVER Doctor: A rise in temperature.
Patient: Any odd feeling.


EMERGENCY Doctor: A condition that may lead to death without prompt attention.
Patient: Anything that makes you come to the hospital instead of staying home to watch tv.


PALENESS Doctor: A look associated with reduced quantity of blood.
Patient: A look associated with being ill.


PAIN Doctor: An estimate of the level of distress a condition causes.
Patient: Any discomfort.


INSOMNIA Doctor: Significant inability to sleep for a period of time.
Patient: Not falling asleep immediately after supper.


ALCOHOL Doctor: Anything that contains alcohol.
Patien…

TOP THINGS LEARNT FROM WATCHING MEDICAL SERIES

WATCHING ER TV SERIES, HOUSE, GREYS ANATOMY, SCRUBSOne will undoubtedly come to the following conclusions:

1.White coats of doctors always remain white no matter what happens. Likewise nursing uniforms.


2. Medicine is an exciting occupation.


3. Doctors race and fall over themselves to welcome any new casualty.


4. There is always an operating theatre available.


5. The hospital is always clean.


6. Doctors have fancy offices.


7. Nurses and doctors have excellent relationships.


8. Doctors always smile to patients.


9. Doctors are particularly good looking (totally agree).


10. Blood is always immediately available.


11. No matter what time of night you call a doctor, he is always fresh and fully energized.


12. Doctors live a stone throw from the hospital and can be available within five minutes of any emergency.


13. The worst and most complex, tongue twisting diagnosis is usually the most likely.


14. Doctors worry about their patients when they get home and usually stay up thinking about the…

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT AS A PATIENT

1. When your doctor can't remember your name.


2. When you wait 5 hours to see a doctor and he spends 5 minutes seeing you.


3. When you meet your doctor taking too much alcohol in the pub.


4. When your doctor won't shake your hands (fear of germs).


5. A doctor young enough to be your grandchild tells you how to live your life.



6. The person you just told off outside the hospital turns out to be the doctor you are about to see.


7. When your doctor meets you drinking too much alcohol.


8. You overhear your doctor refer to you as that appendicitis in bed 8.


9. When you return for an appointment only to learn your doctor has gone on vacation.


10. Your doctor fills your prescription with enormous words only for you to be dispensed Paracetamol and Vitamin C.


11. Your doctor finds an excuse to walk out of the room when you start coughing.


12. You spend an hour talking to the doctor only to realise he's a medical student.


13. When medical students fall over t…

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT AS A DOCTOR

1. When a patient sees you and asks, "where's the doctor?"


2. Your hand is hovering over the prescription paper but you have no idea what to write. Meanwhile the patient is looking at you.


3. You start stammering because you can't answer a patient's question.


4. You get into a loud argument with a nurse, then turn around to see the whole hospital watching.


5. You can't read another doctor's handwriting.


6. Your phone starts ringing in the middle of a sober consultation with the latest hip hop ringtone.


7. The patient has a disappointed look on his face when he sees you are the one on duty.


8. You totally forget the name of the diagnosis; you know it but just can't remember.


9. You lose your temper and tell the patient,"you think i'm enjoying this?"


10. You see a patient outside the hospital and try to avoid him seeing you.


11. A patient starts fully undressing just because you want to do a little examination.


12. A patient prefers seeing…

WHEN A HEADACHE IS MORE THAN A HEADACHE

"Sir, will I be able to see again?""Yes, definitely." I answered; then I caught myself, I had no assurance what I just replied was the truth.

"I'm having serious headache."He gazed into space, his eyes were bulging out of their sockets, you could distinctly see the blood vessels glistening bright red against the white background.

He was a young man, still a boy by all standards, he'd been having very severe and constant headaches; now he could no longer see.

He had fainted earlier that day which wasn't the first time he'd lost consciousness. He'd been discovered to have a very high blood pressure of over 200.

As I watched him drifting into sleep? and snoring loudly. I considered the possibilities, none of them was good. All had a poor prognosis.
Was there some bleeding into his brain? Was there a tumor pressing on his brain? Was it a haemorrhagic Stroke?

WHEN TO SEE A DOCTOR FOR THAT HEADACHE.
1. Any unusual and severe headache not …

RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS - WHEN THE BODY FIGHTS ITSELF

He was someone I knew.
indeed, I should call him a friend.
One of those patients you end up striking a friendship with - A young successful business man with everything going for him.

I hadn't seen him in a couple of years, until he called that fateful day. There was something eerie about the way he spoke on the phone.

I went out to meet him, what i saw made my smile disappear - my outstretched hand was met by a deformed hand.

My friend had suddenly become a cripple.

His hands were deformed, his legs also, he couldn't walk without the aid of a wheelchair. He was a pitiable sight.
What manner of illness could have done this to a person in such a short time? A young man for that matter.

He had Rheumatoid Arthritis.


WHAT IS RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS?
This is an autoimmune disease ( A disease where the body's immune system attacks the body cells or tissues). It affects multiple joints in the body.

Symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis
Severe pain in joints

leads to deformity

leads …

WHOSE FAULT?

Every man has his own destiny; the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him
~ Henry Miller~

A lot of times, when patients present in the ER, the problem they present with didn't start that day.
One therefore wonders, if they are given the chance to go back in time, will they make different choices? If they do, would it make a difference now? Will they be somewhere else and not the ER?

Or

Are somethings just destined to be, however we may try we can't run away from destiny? I faintly recall watching a movie (would love to remember title) in which the protagonist died but was able to go back to the past to prevent herself from dying; as many times as she changed the circumstance that led to her death, she kept being killed through other methods.

The obese woman presenting with a stroke;could she have somehow prevented her weight from getting out of proportion? Or was it out of her hands? Who do we blame when she finally gets a stroke at 60?

ADVICE HOTLINE - LESSONS FROM OUR PATIENTS

Spending the better part of ones life in the hospital environment means one gets to notice and learn a few things by interracting with both patients and their relatives.

1. SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY
Its no use not letting a loved one realise how much you care for him or her because there may come a time the person would not really understand anymore, or be able to reciprocate. One sees this a lot of times with stroke patients who are either unconscious or have some form of memory impairment.

2. DON'T LET THE SUN SET ON AN ARGUMENT
A number of times, patients who present very sick have had one form of argument with relatives who have moved on with their lives without knowing the present state of health of the patient.

3. A FRIEND MAY STICK CLOSER THAN A BROTHER
Sometimes, it is a concerned neighbour that brings a patient to the hospital rather than a family member.

4. MONEY AIN'T A THING
In ill health, the attraction of money easily diminishes and one finally remembers there are ot…

WHEN IS THE LAST BREATH?

At what point is a person pronounced dead?At what point is a person really dead?
Are the above one and the same?

At what point does a person cross that invisible line?
Read a story about someone who was discovered alive after being put in the mortuary - Scary, very scary.

It would have been priceless though to see the face of the mortuary attendant or whoever discovered him. Imagine opening up a body and the 'dead' body goes,"o hello there,I've been wondering when someone would stop by".

What are the end of life signs?
Doctors usually do some physical examination
before pronouncing someone dead, these include:

Checking the pupils

Checking the pulses

Checking the heart beat

Checking for respiration


There was mild drama recently in the ER when a doctor certified a body dead. While the body was being taken away, there was a loud uproar around the Emergency room that the body had moved.

The body was quickly rushed back to the doctor.

The doctor fearing a possible mob act…