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23 Reasons We Thank The Government For Sacking Doctors.

It's no news the Nigerian government has sacked about 16000 of its resident doctors.

For those who don't know, resident doctors are doctors that have finished their medical training and are already working but they are still studying to specialise in a specific field of medicine e.g. Surgery, Psychiatry, Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

So back to the topic, this is why I feel the sack is a blessing in disguise :



Essentially, what that means is that only 3 out of about 1000 doctors has a right to live. *Checks 1999 constitution*

All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us(In Michael Jackson's voice)


Googling 'Medical Doctors strike around the world.'


We forgive you for not reading the demands.


True, but why is that so?


We be balling yo! Hey, who stole my akara?

Sigh, remember those stubborn toilet stains.

Oops!

Thought they had life insurance?

Well. No more reason to choose to stay.


Oh the thought alone!


"I the dead doctor do solemnly swear"


Y…

SHOULD WE BE MAD AT SAWYER?

Every Nigerian by now should know who Patrick Sawyer is -- A Liberian - American father of 3 who resides in Minnesota. A diplomat of the Liberian government employed as an Economic consultant -- the man who is alleged to have 'brought' Ebola into Nigeria.

We were all living in our 'blissful' existence worrying about minor things like lack of electricity, hiked school fees, verbal trade offs and impeachment sagas by opposing political parties...and Boko Haram, when on the 25th of July 2014 we heard the news that could potentially change the course of Nigeria's history. Ebola was in town!

That seems like a lifetime away as events have over taken events:

Patrick Sawyer died.

The hospital was closed down.

The doctor who treated him was found to have contracted the virus.

The hospital matron is down with symptoms.

6 others have been quarantined.

And the big question? How many other people did he come in contact with? Should we be worried?

TRACKING MR SAWYERAccounts say…

ARE MOST YOUNG NIGERIAN WOMEN OVERWEIGHT?

No, this is not a gender biased article (as you can see from the above picture:)), just talking from a recent experience I had.

Was called by one of the biggest churches in the city to volunteer for a women's health programme, which involved checking the participant's BMI (Body Mass Index) and by extension their body fat and visceral fat.

A quick understanding of the above terms is crucial:

Body Mass Index (BMI) seeks to measure whether you are the ideal weight considering your height. It also relates to age. So a high body mass index means you are either overweight, obese or morbidly obese; on the other spectrum is being underweight. BMI can be easily measured by dividing the person's weight in kg by the square of her height in meters.

Body fat as the name implies, measures your body fat.

Visceral fat measures the fat around your organs.

So the risks of the above are obvious: hypertension, diabetes, artherosclerosis, cancer, depression etc.

My findings: About 60 percent …

5 FASCINATING CONDITIONS YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT.

Yes we've all heard about hypertension, diabetes and cancer, but there are some conditions one can write a bestseller about(and some have done just that). How many of the following have you heard about?

1. CHARLES BONNET SYNDROME:Imagine, like happened to me one day, you meet a person, the person starts talking to you as if he's known you all his life, he is pleasant and goes on and on about one thing or the other, some related to the present, some totally unrelated, but they all make logical sense. He even shows you a chair to sit in and his eyes remain trained at you as if checking you out. Well, there is nothing amazing in that on its own; but what if after you left the person, you were told he was completely blind! He was just having visual hallucinations.

Charles Bonnet syndrome occurs in people who have lost their sight and they see things that are not really there and it is real to them.


2. FOLIE A DEUX (COMMUNICATED INSANITY):I once met a lady who felt so strongly that…

KUNLE, PLEASE DON'T CHECK-OUT BECAUSE OF HYPERTENSION (10 REASONS).

An article caught my attention on Linda Ikeji's blog, with the screaming headline: 'I've been diagnosed with hypertension so I have to relocate from Nigeria.'

A heart wrenching statement from foremost Nollywood actor and director Kunle Afolayan, this is undoubtedly going to be a monumental brain drain that can take Nollywood and Nigerian entertainment back a couple of years.

But the issue is not about Nollywood, the issue is about a person's life,well-being and mortality; so one has to understand where he is coming from.

Reading this my mind went to the thousands of hypertensives that pass through the hospital where I work daily and I almost shed a tear; have we (Nigerian doctors) so failed our patients that 'common' hypertension they no longer trust us to manage? Has the fear of hypertension become worse than insecurity and unemployment? This is an indictment on us the health practitioners.

I reassured myself that it probably was due to other factors, pro…

OPINION :HOW MUCH SHOULD THIS DOCTOR BE PAID?

The following story may be true, partly true or just a figment of my imagination:

A distraught parent rushes into the hospital (a private hospital) screaming for help that her toddler is dying, the doctor rushes to her side and asks what the problem is, the parent tearfully says that her child kept some peanuts up his nostril which suddenly lodged and blocked the passage, now the child is unable to breathe and the peanut/s can't be removed.

The doctor looks at the poor child who is already turning blue and tells the parent that it would be a complex procedure but they may be lucky and the cost would be 100,000 Naira (about 550 dollars);the distraught parent says :'Doctor please remove it and I will pay anything you want!

The doctor calmly looks at the child going blue, looks into his nostril and picks a little forcep, in 2 seconds, he has removed the peanuts from the nostril.

The amazed parent jumps for joy and hugs the doctor.

The doctor then asks for his 100k payment.

The p…

HAVE YOU EVER USED A NIGERIAN HOSPITAL TOILET?

On a recent training trip to one of the hospitals in the UK, I had reason to require the use of their toilet facilities while trying to familiarize myself with the hospital. Like a typical Nigerian who will rather not ask directions I trudged along till i found a toilet sign and hesitated before entering because - naturally - I expected it to be locked; but alas! The doors opened as if I had just shouted 'open Sesame!', I entered cautiously not knowing what I would find on the floor or in the toilet or... ahem on the wall.
All my fears turned out to be needless as I found a well kept toilet, with water (of course), soap and tissues! To cap it up there were mirrors and choice of hot and cold water!

I know I must be sounding bush now, like what is the big deal in all these?

Well,this was a hospital that people trooped in and out like a market.

Questions that came to my head were:

How could they possibly afford so much soap, and how come they had so much tissues to waste, you co…